Married to the Berlin Wall: "The Best and Sexiest Wall Ever Existed!"

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“I needed a strong support in my life… _and I found YOU – my beloved Berlin Wall!”

The Telegraph reports: ” A woman with a bizarre fetish for inaninimate objects has revealed she has been married to the Berlin Wall for 29 years.

“Eija-Riitta Berliner-Mauer, 54, whose surname means Berlin Wall in German, wed the concrete structure in 1979 after being diagnosed with a condition called Objectum-Sexuality.”

The condition of Objectum-Sexual or objectophilia brings about feelings of love, attraction, arousal, and commitment for a particular object.

Mrs Berliner-Mauer introduces herself to us on her pleasingly retro website:

“This is my husband. His name is the Berlin Wall and he was born on August 13, 1961. I expect you’ve heard of him; he is quite a celebrity. He lives in Berlin. I used to work in a pharmacy. Now I own a museum. My husband’s job was to divide East and West Berlin. He is retired now.”

Mrs Berliner-Mauer, whose fetish is said to have its roots in childhood, claimed she fell in love with the structure when she first saw it on television when she was seven. She began collecting “his” pictures and saving up for visits. On her sixth trip in 1979 they tied the knot before a handful of guests. While she remains a virgin with humans, she insists she has a full, loving relationship with the wall.

Mrs Berliner-Mauer, who lives in Liden, northern Sweden, writes: ” For me to be attracted by a construction, it must be a construction with parallel lines, usually horizontal. I also find other manufactured things look good, as Bridges, Fences, Railroad Tracks, Gates… All these things have two things in common. They are rectangular, they have parallel lines, and all of them divide something. This is what physically attracts me.”

“The Great Wall of China’s attractive, but he’s too thick – my husband is sexier.”

She tells us about her other relationships:

” I also believe in Reincarnation, that I have had relations to Fences, Walls, Bridges, Gates and other constructions in an earlier life, and that our paths have crossed several times. I have memories from these earlier lives. But of course I can’t prove it.

My attraction to the Berlin Wall and other constructions is BOTH emotional AND sexual. I love them as beings (I use this word intentionally here). I enjoy their company … and I catch fire sexually on the Berlin Wall. I also find other constructions sexy, but it is a question of the above-mentioned things: Fences, Walls, Bridges, Railway Rails, Gates … My sexual feelings towards them are very intense. All these things I was attracted to in the sixties. The Berlin Wall in 1961 when he was built. Also other Walls from the beginning of the sixties, followed by Fences and Bridges. The others “came” later in the middle of the sixties. My feelings for the Berlin Wall are far deeper than what most people believe.”

Of course, the fall of the Berlin Wall – celebrated by most, was a disaster for Mrs Berliner-Mauer.
“What they did was awful. They mutilated my husband. The last few years have been very difficult for me since the attack on my spouse. Rather than continue like that, I have altered my consciousness using temporal displacement. This is a method I have used before to cope with other traumatic events. Let me explain as simply as I can.

I believe that everything that has existed continues to exist at some time in the past, present or future. As the present and future are so painful for me, I have fixed my mind within the period 1961 – 1988. That is the time when my beloved Berlin Wall existed and (for me) still exists in his full glory. I have done this by erasing most of my memories outside that period, enabling me to co-exist with my spuose in those happy times.

This technique is not easy, and there is a cost to me. In returning to that period, I have lost all but my deepest memories from 1988 onwards. However that is the price that I gladly pay for being reunited with my beloved spouse.”

She’s never been back and now makes scale models depicting “his” former glory.

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She is said to have shifted her affections to a nearby garden fence.

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